Life goes on. . .

The month of April was probably one of my hardest month that I will ever have.

The only good thing about April... was the birth of my little guy, who is now 3.

It all started with a letter... from my ex-husband.

Then Nathan was having chest pains. We were riding bikes and on our way to Fazoli's, he "collapsed" to the ground... complaining that his heart was hurting him. I called my mom and she called the doctor's office. The nurse recommended we take him in for testing to be on the safe side. So we spent a few hours at the Children's Hospital... while Nathan got an EKG and x-rays done. a week later, he had an Upper GI done as well. So far so good.

However, David and I have noticed that Nathan is extremely sensitive to pain. He feels his brain moving... his nerves... he feels all sorts of things... so I'm under the conclusion that he is obsessive about pain and his body.

The very next day... I stubbed my middle toe at David's house. It was a very painful stub and I thought I broke my toe... thank God... it bent after 4 days of being swollen! I was so happy about that!!!

That very night... Ellie cut herself on my razor... taking a big chuck of her skin. I was so nervous that I was going to have to take her to the ER for stitches. My kids... being traumatized by the bathroom!!! (Elijah got cut on the toilet and then my daughter gets cut in the bathtub)...

I prayed over Elijah that nothing bad would happen to him!!

I don't think anything did.

Oh he stripped and ran down the hallway and then went outside. Thats not painful... but humiliating.

Then... the biggest shock was finding out for sure that my ex-husband left the country on April 3rd. So... that meant... bye bye child support!! That was OVER HALF of my income!!! Imagine my shock... imagine my anger... imagine growing closer to God.... imagine feeling the grace and love of God...

so intense...

that I forgave him and had a heart of compassion and understanding. Even though I am paying the price of that longing to go home to where he came from. People have asked me about getting child support from him there... I really can't buy much from pesos.

He came from a very rural part of Mexico and my heart is full of compassion for the Mexicans, well, lets say Hispanics in general. I just love them. I thought I was going to be angry and despise all Mexicans that cross my path... that's not happening... the Lord showed me very clearly!!

So what did I do?? I called North Carolina and spoke with our case manager about my case and told them that I did not want this to accumulate and have it be in arrears. I would like for him to be able to come back into America without having problems.

However... I am looking into terminating his parental rights. So if you know of any information of how I can do that... I would appreciate it.

BUT... what I love about this...

I'm becoming more dependent on my Jesus. My precious Savior that redeemed me!! If He cares so much about the needs of a sparrow... surely... He will take care of me!!

I have definitely been through a lot... yikes.